I Hate This

Here it goes...and if you don't want to hear me vent then don't read. But you can all probably relate so that's why I'm writing.

I Hate This! What you say? DEPLOYMENT!!! AHHH. It's just getting to me right now. Probably because I've just started back in classes so I'm extra busy and stressed. Therefore, not having A to talk to whenever I want just sucks. I hate it. I want him home. I want him sitting here next to me right now. I just want him back. I feel like when he left in December it was hard...but now that he left after R&R it has gotten harder. It was such a tease having him home for 2 weeks. We had a great time together but I hated having to say good-bye again.

With the way his work schedule is right now, we figured out a couple days ago that the best time to talk is when he gets up for the day and I am off to bed (or half asleep as it was last night!). So I've just been leaving Skype up on my computer when I go to bed and he calls when he gets up. It's been great getting to talk to him and see him before I go to sleep and I've been able to sleep better for the last couple days. That of course has been nice. However, last night I got on facebook at the same time as talking to him and was looking at pictures. When we decided I needed to get some sleep and he needed to get to work, we got off Skype. He also was on Facebook so I sent him a chat message letting him know that I love him! At that point we talked on there for a couple more minutes and I started crying. I dunno. He was saying the perfect things and all but I hate it. I am just glad that I was able to keep those tears in until we got off Skype. I miss him so much and can't wait for him to get back. I'll be fine and get over this funk I'm in right now. But I still HATE IT!

There's my rant for the moment. For those of you who read this...thanks! I'm sure many of you can completely understand.

A Relaxing, Productive, and Smiling Day!

I slept in today! (OOPS!) But hey...I deserve to get a good night's sleep every once in a while. Once I got up at about 11, I got some school work done for a few hours and relaxed for a little while working. It was great getting stuff done...and to make it better, I was in my PJ's the entire time! :-) Then I went to church (since I didn't get up in the mornng...and mommy joined me even though she went this morning) and then had dinner with my parents. To make the day complete, I got home after dinner and got to talk with A on Skype for about half an hour. Unfortunately, it was about 4 am there so he was exhausted and I felt bad keeping him up, but it was a great conversation. We hadn't really had a chance to talk at all this week with me being busy with school and he's been busy getting prepared for the elections. It sounds as if everything went as well as it could have been hoped. So that's good! Now that I've been able to see his face and hear his voice, I feel so much better. Therefore, it's time for me to get some sleep and have sweet, wonderful dreams! Good night all!

A Need to Vent

Just so you know...I'm about to vent/rant so be prepared. If you don't want to read it...then don't. But if you want to hear what I have to say...great!

So, A and I have been talking about plans for his R & R, but nothing has been planned. Many ideas have been thrown out there, but we had not decided the best option. He really thought it would be fun and a good idea to go to Europe or do something out of the states since he gets a ticket to anywhere. So that would mean it would just be a matter of getting me somewhere. All along I have agreed with him that this would be a lot of fun...but asked "Do you need to get home to see your parents? Or will they come with us?"

I guess he was talking to his sister last night and told her about the idea of going to Europe. Well...she tells his parents and they BLEW up. I just don't get it. REALLY?!?! Your son is in a war zone fighting for the freedom that we have and you are going to send him an email about being upset that he would want to go to Europe. How about you TALK to him first and see what he's actually thinking about before you react. I mean seriously...he doesn't even have a passport yet so he ain't going anywhere until he gets that done. And again...have I mentioned...HE'S IN A WAR ZONE!!! Although it is possible for him to get a passport, it's not a priority and he's a little busy. So, if he is able to get it done wonderful...but I'm not counting on it. All I know though is that if I were in his position and my parents went off about it, this would be my reaction to them..."Fine, if you are going to get mad at me for that, then I will definitely be going to Europe and now I don't want you to join me there!" :-) Yes...I love my parents (and my mom reads my blog daily) but I don't deal with BS. Which my parents are aware of which is why they would think before they reacted and talk to me about it rather than blowing up. Anyway...I tried to calm A down earlier. I could tell that he was really upset and annoyed because he couldn't believe that this is what they are concerned about when he's going through all he's going through in Iraq right now (Obviously I can't get into all of that...but I was almost in tears worrying about him, but I held them back!). And now I'm tearing just writing about this.

Well to those of you who have read...thanks for listening and letting me vent. It just really hurts me to see him upset and all I want is for him to have fun during his R & R. And hopefully we can make that happen no matter what we end up doing.

Well I'm off to bed now. And I had not posted a pic of me in my new jammies yet so here it is. There I am on my couch with my Vermont Teddy Bear that A gave me last year for my birthday. I thought it was too cute that we pretty much matched! :-)

My First Post - Missing Him!

I have been writing a journal ever since the love of my life left for Iraq in December. However, one of my friends has been writing a blog and I've really enjoyed reading it. I told my "big sis" about it and she told me that I should write a blog as well. So here it goes! Hope my friend doesn't mind me stealing her idea! :-)

So it's been a long journey so far since he left, however, I cannot believe that more than a month has gone by. I just cannot wait to be in his arms again. Today I've been really missing him alot. I spoke to him on webcam Thursday before I went to class. It was amazing getting to see his face and hear his voice. But it's been hard because it's now Saturday and I have not heard anything from him since we spoke. I keep telling myself that "No news is good news"! But really? I would actually prefer to hear good news or just hear his voice.