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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A Need to Vent

Just so you know...I'm about to vent/rant so be prepared. If you don't want to read it...then don't. But if you want to hear what I have to say...great!

So, A and I have been talking about plans for his R & R, but nothing has been planned. Many ideas have been thrown out there, but we had not decided the best option. He really thought it would be fun and a good idea to go to Europe or do something out of the states since he gets a ticket to anywhere. So that would mean it would just be a matter of getting me somewhere. All along I have agreed with him that this would be a lot of fun...but asked "Do you need to get home to see your parents? Or will they come with us?"

I guess he was talking to his sister last night and told her about the idea of going to Europe. Well...she tells his parents and they BLEW up. I just don't get it. REALLY?!?! Your son is in a war zone fighting for the freedom that we have and you are going to send him an email about being upset that he would want to go to Europe. How about you TALK to him first and see what he's actually thinking about before you react. I mean seriously...he doesn't even have a passport yet so he ain't going anywhere until he gets that done. And again...have I mentioned...HE'S IN A WAR ZONE!!! Although it is possible for him to get a passport, it's not a priority and he's a little busy. So, if he is able to get it done wonderful...but I'm not counting on it. All I know though is that if I were in his position and my parents went off about it, this would be my reaction to them..."Fine, if you are going to get mad at me for that, then I will definitely be going to Europe and now I don't want you to join me there!" :-) Yes...I love my parents (and my mom reads my blog daily) but I don't deal with BS. Which my parents are aware of which is why they would think before they reacted and talk to me about it rather than blowing up. Anyway...I tried to calm A down earlier. I could tell that he was really upset and annoyed because he couldn't believe that this is what they are concerned about when he's going through all he's going through in Iraq right now (Obviously I can't get into all of that...but I was almost in tears worrying about him, but I held them back!). And now I'm tearing just writing about this.
Well to those of you who have read...thanks for listening and letting me vent. It just really hurts me to see him upset and all I want is for him to have fun during his R & R. And hopefully we can make that happen no matter what we end up doing.
Well I'm off to bed now. And I had not posted a pic of me in my new jammies yet so here it is. There I am on my couch with my Vermont Teddy Bear that A gave me last year for my birthday. I thought it was too cute that we pretty much matched! :-)


  1. Oh honey, I feel your pain. My MIL is just that way...only she likes to say she's not. She makes big speeches (constantly) about how he should live his own life and "she knows her place" and to just do what he wants....and then they day before he leaves for basic she screams at him for an hour about what a horrible son he is and if he loved her he wouldn't be doing this. And she says she's still mad at her daughter for marrying an AF guy and moving away. MAD - after 9 YEARS!! So yes, I feel ya. Hopefully after it takes time to sink in they'll grow up and be more cooperative.

  2. I think it would be my mom to react that way. P's parents are pretty laid back and would be supportive of whatever he decided.

    I'm sorry they're being so difficult, and I hope they'll calm down and support A in whatever he decides to do.

  3. Ugh, my mother-in-law was absolutely wonderful during my husband's deployment, but his dad was awful! He would get mad at E if he didn't talk to him via IM and started a lot of drama. I guess he just doesn't know the world does not revolve around him! E has been home over a year and I still get so mad!! I'm sorry you and A are going through this... it's the last thing he needs while being over there... the Army really should publish a pamplet for parents who don't understand how to act during a deployment.

  4. I'm sorry dear...that's not fair for your "In laws" to act like this. This is a time when you all need each other the most!

    I love my "In-Laws" and they are the ones that helped me through his deployment.
    Honey-do what YOU TWO wanna do..

  5. Urgh oh noooo I think we both knew this was coming when we were talking about it on Sunday :( I know Mr Soldier's Dad would do the exact same, he gets mad even when he knows Mr SOldier and I have talked but he hasnt heard from him....again, give him a break he's in a war zone! I hope it works out, call me and vent to me when you need to.

  6. You are exactly right that all that matters it that you two have fun during his R&R. It may be hard to plan a trip if the date of his R&R is constantly changing.

    I think by the time my husband got his R&R he was so fed up with his parents that he didn't want to do anything with them. We may have saw them twice.

    As long as your together, no matter where you are, you will have fun.

  7. I'm so sorry you are being put in the middle, between A and his family. Maybe the best thing you can do is to remind him that they are only upset about this because they love him. It's only natural that they want to see him in the middle of his time in a war zone. I am sure you would have been devestated if you didn't see your brother during his r&r; you were just lucky that you weren't away at school. It might be a little easier for him to deal with their "protest" if he just focuses on the basis of their concern: they really do LOVE HIM! He will always be their "little boy"/ little brother, and nothing is going to change that. Not even a fantastic young lady, no matter how special she really is!